Okay. This is hard.
I have a bazillion times more respect for all the mommies and daddies out there. Sorta feeling like Navy Seal boot camp would look like a vacay in comparison to parenting a newborn. Yay? Nay? A bit if an exaggeration. Perhaps.
Wowzers.
We are like werewolves. Our fangs come out at night when we don’t get our sleep. I snapped at Jason last night when Charlie pooped on the floor. “That’s why the dogs have to go OUT!” I yelled, stating the obvious. “I just took them out.” He said, stating the should be obvious. I hadn’t even noticed he had taken them outside.
I had anger and impatience toward a newborn in my heart last night when Liam wouldn’t nurse but was crying. My sleep was being interrupted. And Jason dropped an expletive this morning when Liam pooped all over his hand and down the changing table.
Pretty, huh? The perfect family, right?
Wrongskies.
Listen. I’m just stripping it naked for you. Lest you have mistakenly begun to assume all is shiny and perfect behind our mcmiracle doors. Nope. {POP}. We are sinners. And I’m stripping it naked for myself too. Lest I have begun to think anything different than my total depravity and total dependence on Jesus. Doesn’t matter how much I love Liam or how long we’ve waited to have him, or how difficult our journey has been. I. Am. Still. A. Sinner. But there is hope for me still. For us. For you.
So, yet again, I fall before you Jesus and confess that I have a wicked heart that has been revealed yet again. Parenting, like anything, is revealing our need, yet again, for a Savior. Here we have yet again, another life opportunity to see that we are broken people with no hope apart from the redemptive work of Jesus on the cross. Today, like every day that we have breath, we need the saving grace of Christ. Today it just happens to be in a new role. As parents.
New role. Same sin. Same amazing grace.
I am so thankful that we can repent and receive grace to help us in our time of need. Jesus, please forgive us.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need. {Hebrews 4:16}
Do you need to repent to God often about parenting screw ups too?
M C M I R A C L E 
We all do! Sleep deprivation is a tough thing! When that blessed day arrives when Liam starts putting together a 5 hr stretch of sleep together you will look back and wonder how you did it…. But you will do it! People ask how we survived triplet preemie newborns & I honestly answer by the grace of God. And amnesia is also a wonderful tool :). Hang in there…sleep is coming!
You are so cute!! (Smile). Oh the joy!
I won’t lie. I probably laughed a little more than I should have. I don’t mean to laugh at your challenges, but just that what you say is so very real and true (and let’s face it, the poop things are funny from an outside perspective.. I’m sure we’ve all been there too!). All parents have been there (or at least all parents of newborns and infants). It’s a long road. I remember being SO desperate for sleep at one point where I swore I would do ANYTHING to get Jess to stop crying and let me sleep. Of course I didn’t do anything bad. You will feel anger, you will feel frustration, you will cry, but it’s all worth it, and still one of the most wonderful experiences you could ever go through.
I have to mirror what Carrie said. Sleep is coming! Hang in there. Also, be glad you’re writing some of this down, because you will NOT remember it in the future. 🙂
The first couple of months are pretty intense. If it wasn’t for our instinct to love our children we would probably eat them, lol. With our first child, I’m surprised my husband and I didn’t get a divorce we were so crazy from the sleep deprivation. What got us thru the first couple of months was to sleep in separate rooms. One night I would be up all night with the baby while he got uninterrupted sleep and the next night it was my turn. Now I wasn’t able to breast feed with that child so that might not work in your case but to get that full nights rest every other night made it a little more bearable. Don’t worry it gets easier! Your child will slowly be sleeping longer and longer about this time in his infancy.
Amen!
Parenting is soooo hard! For the first few days we were home, neither brad nor I thought we could do it. Like do it at all, let alone do it successfully. Sleep deprivation brings out the crazy for sure! But as I look back now, from a slightly better (though no less tired) place, I thank The Lord for those first few days. Because I literally fell on my knees before Him asking for grace, peace of mind, and HELP! It has been better and better since that moment. I could not be happier to be a momma! And while I do still miss my sleep, I’ll gladly trade it for our sweet little girl.
It takes some time, but you guys will get the hang of it. 🙂 we’re praying for you!
Sleep deprivation is no joke! Those first weeks were so hard. And about 4 weeks in I had the revelation that because Lucas was 7 weeks early, we were in for 7 extra weeks of the inconsistent and unpredictable newborn stage. I don’t tell you this to scare you but to prepare you. I wish someone had told me early on that it’d be hard for longer than usual… I think it would have eased some of my frustration. We’ve had several moments like you’ve described but we’ve learned from them and bonded over them as we are able to look back and laugh at the craziness of it all! 🙂