Real Life Evidence of Grace #3: Illness

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Every Friday I will be sharing a “Real Life Evidence of Grace” Story with you. {Please forgive my delay in getting this one to you. I explained where was was last week here}. My heart behind these posts is to address the question that so many of us {believers and non} seem to have. “How could a good God let something so horrible happen?” Here’s a chance for you to read the stories of people who actually have had to personally wrestle with that question in the midst of their heartache, grief, disappointments, and loss or in dealing with the consequences of sin {their own sin or the sin of someone else}.

Because of the intensely personal nature of these Friday posts, I have chosen to disable comments. Out of respect to my friends who have chosen to share, I wanted to provide a place for them to do so without opening it up to potentially difficult or offensive responses. While that has NEVER happened on this blog because my readers are rad, I don’t even want to leave that open as a possibility. If this post strikes a cord with you and you would like to share some thoughts, ask some questions, or just contact me you can reach me at contactmcmiracle@gmail.com.

This is the sweet story of a sweet, encouraging, faithful sister in Christ who faced a very serious, life-threatening illness several years ago. I am very thankful to her for being willing to share her story with you.

1. Please briefly share your story.

Several years ago I suffered an unexpected ruptured brain aneurysm and as a result faced 11 hours of brain surgery.

2. What did your relationship with Jesus look like when this happened?

Up until I faced a health crisis that almost took me off of the earth, I barely gave God a second thought because I was too busy with career and selfish ambition. In an instant, my corner of the world suffered an apocalyptic moment.

3. What were some of the emotions/doubts you felt toward God and some of the questions/thoughts you had?

I had one of those “shaking the fist toward heaven” moments after I felt my world was shattered and I recall asking Him, “If You are really there, God, then why did you allow me to live?” I never wanted to be a burden to anyone and I felt like a tremendous burden to everyone I loved. My husband was a faithful believer and I guess I was sort of a one-day-a-week Christian, where you worshipped God in the pew of the church but didn’t give Him a second thought the rest of the week.

4. What lies did God expose that you were believing about Him, you, your future, etc? {i.e.: How did God work you through your natural emotions/response to this situation?}

At almost the exact moment of my “shaking the fist” moment, the telephone began to ring and it was my mother. I told her that I had shattered the bedroom light, that I was totally useless and she began to praise God. She said, “You are not useless, you are an answer to our prayers. Yesterday, you didn’t have the strength to get off of the bed and today you are breaking things! Praise God, He has answered this mom’s prayers.”

My mother went on to explain that literally hundreds of people {even strangers} had been praying for my recovery and she told me to focus on “one step at a time.”

5. What truth did God replace the lies with?

The Truth is that God believes I am worth it. Worth sending His One and Only so that I may truly live.

When my eyes were opened to “see” that, how could I quit before I reached the finish line? It took nearly 9 months to recover to the point of being able to take care of myself again.

6. What has God’s grace looked like for you walking out of this? {i.e.: How would you summarize what God did/is doing to have Himself/His grace be sufficient for you?}

I’d like to say that every day His Grace is sufficient but because I am only human, there are still some days that are so much harder than others. When family members fall ill or sudden death slips someone from my reach, it’s harder to just let His Grace soften those blows. Especially if there is a nagging question mark when someone asks me if they knew Jesus and if they were saved. God Grace has opened my eyes to see that I should evangelize to others, but if their heart isn’t ripe to receive the Holy Spirit, then I need to leave it up to Him and just shake the dust from my high heels.

7. What does your relationship with Jesus look like now? {How is it different/stronger than before?}

I believe when we accept Jesus as Lord over our lives, we are given gifts from the Holy Spirit. It took me awhile to “open” my gift of encouragement. I pray for others, daily. I have found as I use my gift, I receive more than I could ever give in return. I would encourage all believers to focus on their gifts and use them for God’s glory.