Thank You

I’m able to sit at my table tonight and blog, journal, and read the Word because of the Lord answering so many of you that have faithfully been praying for me these last 7 days. Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. Relief has finally come, and I’m turning the corner, so thank you for caring and for taking time to lift me up to the throne. Thank you for your messages of love, strength, and support. I wish I could sneeze into my hand and shake each one of your hands individually! (Wait, what? I’m contagious…?)

I truly rejoice in what the Lord taught me this last week through this whole ordeal (it sounds like this big ordeal—it’s only been a week, but I suppose it feels a lot longer than that). Many of you know the details, but for those of you that don’t, I somehow caught Viral Meningitis. There’s not much the doctors can do except let the virus run its course and give medicine to minimize the pain (aka meds to make you vomit everything up). So that’s exactly what they did, and Jason and I have been taking one day at a time. The head and neck pain has been unbearable at times (and yes, even decapitation looking like an attractive alternative). It’s no fun being nauseous for a week, or having to put awkward things in awkward places, or having a spinal tap. But I am the best I’ve been tonight and am feeling like a normal human being again.

So thank you. No really. Thanks!

I just think it’s so amazing that the Lord, in His goodness, reveals truth to us to help us in our time of need. Even though I couldn’t open my Bible (because my eyes hurt too bad), or listen to it (because every sound was magnified), He was gently laying truth on my heart. And the main message was,

“Rejoice. This is a gift.”

And I know He’s right. It wouldn’t be my normal reaction. But literally, suffering is a gift. He loves me, and He’s not cruel. (Think of the parent holding down the child at the doctors office for a very important vaccination—it seems cruel to the child, but the parent knows what’s best, right?) In His sovereignty and wisdom, He allows suffering to test us, to grow us, and to strengthen us. TO MAKE US BETTER. It’s like training for an athlete. It makes them strong. It teaches them endurance, steadfastness, and longsuffering. The better the training, the more an athlete celebrates because he knows he will be better equipped for the competition. And just like pure gold, there is a process, a trial by fire, that removes impurities and produces an amazing finished product. Our God is good. He doesn’t leave us where He finds us. He challenges us so that we can be more like Him. It’s literally a privilege. I really feel that way.

So not just thanks to all of you, but also, thanks to Jesus. I’m blessed.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6)

Back to the Basics

You know you’re going through something special when your biggest accomplishment in four days is a nice warm shower and being able to go to the bathroom…

…and that reality really sinks in for you when people start cheering for you that you went potty!

I don’t know what’s more funny to me, the cheers, or the phone calls to NY and CO about the potty problem. Or that my husband sent me a text with a typo this morning:

Hey babe. I hope you’re still resting, but if not, I hope you’re popping.

Then a quick correction:

Pooping.

Ironically, I very much felt like I was popping this morning. Still sort of do. Has something to do with the pain meds that make you constipated and then the pain from the surgery, combined with the air that they pump into you to be able to do the surgery. Needless to say, I know what I will look like when I’m about 3 months pregnant. My stomach is crying for relief. To avoid giving way too much information, I will say that those of you that have been giving advice and praying for me to “pop”…well, it’s sort of starting to work.

And to add to my already impressive list of accomplishments, I just took my first shower since Friday morning. When the first thought in your head is, “What’s that smell?” And you realize “Oh, it’s me” it’s time to figure out a solution. With my three war wounds carefully covered and taped, I took a nice hot shower and do feel like a human being again.

And then I took off my bandages. The right side has healed nicely—the pain isn’t on the outside anymore, just on the inside. It’s a little bruised and the incision itself is about 1/4″. The belly button and left side incisions still have another form of tape over them. It looks like those incisions bled a little more. So I’m not quite ready to pull that tape off yet.

I haven’t taken any pain meds today and I am struggling quite a bit. With the pain, I’m a little cranky and cannot seem to get comfortable. I feel like a crotchety old woman. I’ve also not had much of an appetite, so my poor mother who is here to feed me and take care of me has resorted to cleaning the floors and doing laundry. Still very much appreciated.

So, really, there you have it. That’s the extent of the post-op recovery for me. The first day and a half I was feeling pretty great and thought it would be easy sailing. But I’m going on the recored saying that days 3 and 4 have been the hardest. I do still feel loved and prayed for, so thank you all for being so wonderful!

Have any of you ever had post-op recovery time like this? What seemed to work for you?

Loved.

Today was an experience that I will never forget. I admit that I did not sleep more than 3 hours last night as I prayed and talked to God about the surgery. I was trying to surrender my fears and anxiety about going under, about being “sliced“, and about the unknown of the recovery.

We woke up at 3:45 this morning (I use the term “woke up” loosely) and were out of the house by 4:20. The drive to the hospital was traffic free and we easily found the entrance with the totem pole (yes, really). We checked in, waited about 20 minutes, and then I was taken back by my personal nurse Kathy to do the prep for surgery. She had me get changed, I weighed in, then I got a supergallatic blanket that attaches to an air hose and inflates with warm air! It was rad. She asked me another billion questions (why do they always ask you the same questions 3 times)? And then Mom and Jason got to come in and hear the details of the rest of the morning.

And then we sat around for almost an hour. That time was a little hard as I started to get anxious again, but Mom and Jason did a great job entertaining me and keeping my focus off of the impending surgery. Then people started coming in pretty regularly: I met Dr. Cha my anesthesiologist; Heidi, my operating room nurse; and then got to chat with our doctor doing the surgery, Dr. D. Before I knew it they gave me my “double martini” shot and wheeled me to the operating room.

Lots of faces, some stickers on my chest to monitor my heart, wraps on my legs to pump air and prevent blood clots, annnnnnddd….that’s it.

Boom. Recovery room.

Anesthesia is pretty amazing stuff. When I woke up Dr. Dudley was in the room and give me a quick synopsis of how the procedure had gone (very well—they unblocked both my tubes)*. Then I got to talk to my recovery room nurse, Gilbert, who was a rad dude and stayed by my side making conversation the entire time. He helped the time pass quickly. I guess when I first woke up he asked me who was waiting for me in the waiting room and I started to cry and said, “The most amazing man in the whole wide world. And the most incredible mom.” Ha! I don’t laugh when I go off anesthesia. Apparently I get sentimental, thankful, and tearful.  Then Gilbert wheeled me to my day surgery nurse, Tom, and on the way picked up my mom and Jason.

The first thing I wanted to do was open my Bible to the Psalms and I just started crying and reading outloud:

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to Alamoth. A song. ^[a]

¹ God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

² Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

³ though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

⁴ There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

⁵ God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

⁶ Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

⁷ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

⁸ Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

⁹ He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields ^[b] with fire.

¹⁰ “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”

¹¹ The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

God is good. And so faithful. Then, I got to talk to my dad who had been fasting and praying for me since the night before. He had committed to being ON HIS KNEES for me every 20 minutes until he heard from us that I was out of surgery and doing okay. That’s my father. I am blessed.

And then I got to drink! Had some sips of cranberry juice and a few bites of a mini-muffin. Then I pretty much changed and went potty and was able to go home!

Since being home I’ve had quite a bit of pain and discomfort, but am trying to stay ahead of schedule on the pain meds. Most of my pain originally (if you can believe it) was from the tube in my throat (that’s finally feeling better), the catheter (burning when I tried to pee), and a lot of pain/discomfort in my shoulders/lungs from the breathing tube that was helping me breathe. I have three small incisions (one on my belly button, and two over my ovaries). I should be able to take them off by Monday. When I walk and try to move I feel discomfort, so I’m just taking it slow. Have had a really nice, laid back night, hanging with MY cousin Monica and Jason and Mom. And I have to tell you that after today…

I feel loved.

 

Flowers from Papa

 

 

From Mama

 

 

Photo Collage from Erin

 

As you can see, Erin, from “Ski’ing Through Life” is a talented photographer, writer and friend. When my mom showed up yesterday from NY she had these photos for us from Erin with a beautiful card. Essentially, Erin set up an appointment to go to my parents’ house in NY and do a photo shoot with a bunch of my toys from my childhood. Not only that, but she sent a CD with ALL of the photos, and a few custom made headers and footers for our blog (hence the total makeover of our blog)! All for free and out of the kindness of her heart. Here are the words from her beautiful card:

I hope this gift can be an encouragement to you as you being this journey of hope and faith. These photographs are but a piece of your childhood, your mother’s praying hands, your baby booties, all things that your McMiracle will enjoy when it is time. Know that as you journey forward in good times and the challenges you have us praying for you. God is Good! We can’t wait to see it all unfold. Hebrews 10:25. Thank you for being you.

-Erin, Paul, Mason and Grady

And here is the slideshow of all of the amazing pictures she took:
(You can close out of the add below the slideshow by clicking on the black “x” in the top write corner)

 

Entertainment and Fav Foods from Monica

 

 

"Jesus, I trust in you." From Gailette

 

 

 

Flowers, Cinnamon Roll, Hot Chocolate, and Candy from Jennie

 

Odwallas and Homemade Healthy Soup from the Blondins

Handmade Bibs/Burpers from Mom, Fav KitKats and Life Cereal (for a new life that's coming) from Minners, and a Handmade Lunch Bag from Angie

These are the amazing comments I got on Facebook from all of you guys. This doesn’t include the 30+ texts of encouragement that I got from you all last night and throughout the day as well. Each of you has known the exact right thing to say and truthfully, your prayers, encouragement and generosity totally overwhelmed me today.

I felt so loved and covered in prayer…all the way from England to New York, to the Carolinas, to Colorado, to Alaska, to everywhere that you all are. God is so faithful for many reasons, but I am especially thankful for the friends and family that He has given me. Thank you all so much for being such an amazing part of my day.

Since this blog is intended to be a chronicle of our journey that Jason and I (and our children) plan on looking back on, I had to include the things that were said to us today so we can always remember this support. We love you all.

*In light of today’s findings, Jason and I still very much feel led to move forward with embryo adoption, like we mentioned in the “Sliced” post that I linked up above. We may have gotten confirmation today that natural conception is now more possible than it was before, but a lot would have to change (like embryo adoption would have to fall through) for us to head in a different direction. Conceiving naturally is not out the door, but as of today we are prayerfully continuing to move forward toward the child(ren) God has for us through EA. Just as an FYI for those of you that might be wondering.

“Success”

Surgery is done! Dr. D said everything went incredibly well, and recovery should be pretty quick since she wasn’t out very long. He showed us some pictures and threw out a few medical terms, but I was pretty lost the whole time. All I heard was “really good” and “fast.” More to come when Kate and Betty explain everything to me. Thank you for all the prayers!