Howdy, friends.
Happy almost December. Phew, there has been a lot going on!!!
Jason and I are back from our annual trip to New York for Thanksgiving. We brought the dogs with us {of course}, and had an amazing time with my parents, grandma, and friends. I also got to meet a ton of you that read the blog and was really encouraged to know that you’ve been blessed through mcmiracle. Thank you for reading! Blogging is one of the things that I LOVE to do and when I get to hear how God has used it to challenge, grow or bless you, it is pretty humbling. Praise Jesus.
We’re also really excited about a new church plant in our hometown of Tacoma and what that means for reaching the City of Tacoma. Our community group is replicating this week, our church is announcing fundraising pledges this weekend towards meeting the goal of buying/renovating our new church building, and God is preparing hearts to be generous in preparation for the harvest He will have in this city. It gets me fired up! Your prayers would be very much appreciated {provision, leaders, workers, HARVEST}!!!
Before we left for New York things were really hectic, and I’ve genuinely missed blogging. So I’m back in black red, white and green to say goodbye to November and hello to December and give you updates on our Sweet Pea and the pregnancy {including a belly bump photo below} as well as some really humbling/cool things God has been doing in my heart.
Starting Monday, I’ll be doing a series called
“Back to Basics: Gospel Grace.”
For the last eleven months God has really been working in my heart to bring me back to the basics of the gospel. By this I mean that Christ died, was buried, and was raised from the dead for my sin. Because of His completed work on the cross I have been given not only eternal life, but power to put my sin to death and to walk in newness of life apart from works of the law/flesh {religion: striving to be a “good person” and earn God’s favor}. There is a freedom in the complicated simplicity {that’s right} of the gospel and I want to share some practical ways that Jesus has been revealing that to me. It will be a short 5 part series. I hope you’ll join me.
And now to a Sweet Pea Breaking News Update:
I’ve felt our little baby move!!! I’m almost 17 weeks along and have been feeling flutters for quite some time that I was pretty sure were the baby. But this last week while laying on the couch in the living room of my childhood home, I felt a pretty good “poke” or “jolt” and knew for sure it was the baby. Amazing! I continue to feel flutters and movement daily and know that it is just the beginning! I’ve been getting lots of “Enjoy your sleep now” from some of you.
I’ve been feeling better. I still get sick every now and then. I have some pretty hard-core headaches. I have some difficulty sleeping {buckle up, right?}. I definitely have crazy pregnancy brain. My friend from home, Barbi, tried to teach me Pinochle while I was home. Ay gadzooks! It’s a game where you have to remember cards that were played to gain an advantage. Yeah. About that. Wait. About what? What was I saying….?
We find out the sex of the baby at the end of December. We are having a combined 30th birthday party (Jason turned 30 this month and I turn 30 in January)/ Baby Gender Reveal party. We have invited some of our friends and family to join us and Jason and I will be finding out the gender at the same time as everybody else. I will certainly keep you posted. We find out December 28th. Family/Friend polls have weighed in somewhere around 85% boy, 15% girl. Jason and I have no clue and will obviously be so thankful either way. Here’s a photo of my little growing bump!
How amazing is our God that He creates life, sustains it, and brings it to pass? It dumbfounds me and I am astounded that this is happening inside of me. I feel so humbled and blessed to be granted this gift, as I know the heartache of not having it, losing it, and longing for it {not knowing if it will ever come}. I hope I never forget that heartache. And my heart still aches with those of you that I know and don’t know that are in that place. He is faithful. His plans are perfect. He sees you. He knows. He has not forgotten you.
While in New York I was talking to my dad and these words came out of my mouth: “It makes me sick to think who I would be if God had given me a child when I wanted.” Let me qualify that. I know that He could have. I know that He still would have pursued me. But I can tell you that being a mom was such an idol in my heart that had He given it to me, I cannot predict how hard my heart would have become towards Him. How self-sufficient and proud I would have been. How much of my identity would have been wrapped up in anything and everything other than Him. I don’t know how long it would have taken for Him to soften my heart and to get Him back on the throne.
When I said that to my dad, the five years of trying flashed through my mind and I started to weep. I LOVE JESUS and I thank Him with every fiber of my soul for EVERY SINGLE SECOND, MINUTE, HOUR, DAY, WEEK, and YEAR of our infertility struggles. You guys know that this Spurgeon gold nugget is one of my favorite quotes:
“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”
My wave is our infertility. I literally could kiss it because it threw me into the arms of my King. My Rock of Ages. These five years have brought rough tide after rough tide that threw me into that Rock. It wasn’t pretty. I rebelled. I cursed God and shook my fist in His face. I despaired. I gave up. I grew tired. I believed lies. I had wicked sin in my heart towards my Father. And yet He persisted. And yet He pursued. And yet He pressed in. And yet He wooed my broken heart.
My reward is Him. Not this child.
Please let that be clear. My reward is Jesus.
See you Monday.
M C M I R A C L E 